The fear of loss

A couple of months ago, my husband and I took the kids for brunch. Nothing new. Except the all-you-can-drink Mimosas for $5. (Some control was exercised!)
It was near easter/mothers day and a couple came in with assorted elderly parents, aunts, uncles, etc. Also with their baby. the baby was probably under 2 months old and still had a bit of the newborn cry. The baby was precious, as all babies are, but was also hungry and out of sorts. So it continued a stream of noise and interruption making it hard for parents to enjoy their breakfast with family. I had finished eating, and as we were seated at the table next to them, I walked over to the mom and offered to hold the baby for a few minutes so that she could eat. She could see that I had kids, and looked pretty safe. But I could see the immediate fear in her. It was so palpable that one could taste it. Someone was trying to steal her baby. She said that no, she was fine, but certainly not in a friendly way. Then her husband, who had not heard the conversation, jumped in with scowl on face and asked me what my problem was. Fear etched all over him. I have truly never seen a couple so wrapped in fear in such a way that it was like wearing a coat. I don't know if they walked out of the door that morning arguing, what their life is like, anything about them other than their fear concerning this child. I said that there was certainly not a problem, I was simply offering to help, sorry for interrupting. And went back to my table.
One by one, all of the older folks found a way to come over and thank me for the offer. the parents ignored me and the father took the baby for a walk somewhere else in the restaurant.
I understand that I am a stranger to them. I understand that there are a million and one explanations for their refusal. but it made me think about fear.
I had the same offer given to me when my kids were small. I was in a book and card shop. I had to buy a wedding card for the next day and I knew that this was my only chance. My kids were both under two years old. In a double stroller that barely fit through the door. And my daughter was a screamer (why did I get a screamer?) And could she scream. Ear piercing, alarm bell starting, ambulance pitched screams if anything was not to her liking. Which it often was. (So happy when she started talking!) As soon as I crammed the stroller into the store, she started. Every eye turned to us. I was at an intense point of exhaustion, and thought that I might just start crying in the middle of the store. A woman came up to me and asked if she could try to calm Miss EOT down by walking her around the store. YES. I have never been so thankful in my life. It was a miracle. Miss EOT calmed down, I could purchase a card, which I had to do with a credit card as I didn't have a dime on me, and the sales girl said absolutely- that was fine. Once I left the store, Miss EOT screamed all the way home, but at that point it didn't matter.
The kindness of strangers is what saved me. And I can think of several other times too- when I got a flat alone on a highway and two heavily tatooed guys stopped and changed it for me ( the nicest guys in the world), The cabbie that took me home for much less than the fare as it was an emergency. There are many stories about people that I don't know but am thankful for.
Does the fear of loss need to trump the acceptance of kindness in our lives?
I do not judge the couple at brunch. They needed to do what was right for them. But I don't think that I ever want to let fear overwhelm me to the point that I cannot see a blessing in the guise of a stranger. And if I am the stranger, I hope that someone can/will accept my offering if given with best intentions.